Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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