In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
