I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
