If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
