I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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