he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
