good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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