you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
