ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
