The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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