Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
