shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
