Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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