it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
