Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Who died my cat blue again?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
