College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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