She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
