this just has baby written all over it
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
