she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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