It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
