Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
