you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
