You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So many bounce houses so little time
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
