I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
