I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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