In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
