her vagine was all disorganized.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
