Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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