Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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