tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
