I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
