Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
