So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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