They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
