Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
