we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize