In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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