We won't sleep together?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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