I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
