i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
