redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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