Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
