Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
