In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
