I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
