i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
