I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
