Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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