some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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