What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
