i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
