Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
