sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
