so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
