Non-Jews are for practice
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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