hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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