I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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