I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
