I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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